Of Monkeys and Mice
by ravengal
Summary: Busybody Alfred tries to befriend his quiet classmate, Kiku... but he's met with some resistance. How could this possibly work out when they're about as different as day and night? [Side-story to Of Lions and Lambs]


Author's note: Hey there!

Yeah, I know I didn't get very far with Of Spiders and Flies before writing this, but you know what? I figure I need to keep my brain refreshed. I was really in the mood to write for America (I swear, he's my favourite character to write for), so here we are!

I hope you enjoy it!

Also, I'm wondering if I should work on these three friendship fics (RoChu, Ameripan and FrUK) at the same time. While it's more work for me, it also might be more fun, switching back and forth between them.

Lemme know what you think!

Reviews are love. Reviews are life.

* * *

 **Chapter One** **: Hot and Cold**

Alfred swung open the classroom door with a grin. "Dude! Sorry I'm late, teach!" he said.

His English teacher frowned at him. "Good of you to join us, Alfred..." he replied. "Did you get lost again?"

"Yup!" He skipped over to his seat amidst the class' chuckling.

The teacher sighed. "Do learn your schedule, won't you?"

Alfred winked and flashed him a thumbs up. "Sure thing!"

The teacher shook his head, directing his attention back to the class. "As I was saying..."

It was here that Alfred's attention wandered. Hey, it wasn't _his_ fault his classes were so boring! It also wasn't his fault that this school's corridors were like a damn maze. He'd been at this 'prestigious academy' for a few weeks now, but he still didn't know the way around. Unlike back in middle school, where everything had been simpler.

Ah, middle school. The time when he could wear his own clothes - instead of this stuffy uniform - and he actually knew people.

Well, it wasn't like he didn't have any friends here. Of course he did! He _was_ extremely social, after all. He just didn't have anyone he hung out with regularly. That wasn't down to any fault of his own, though! Most students here were just weird.

Like that one Italian guy in his homeroom, who'd introduced himself a while back. The guy never opened his eyes, was always rambling about things and often threw nervous glances towards the bulky blonde student by the door.

There was his cousin, he supposed, but the guy was really quiet and he didn't even know where he was half the time. What was his name again? Mason? Besides, it was kinda lame to only hang around your cousin, anyway...

Then there was Arthur.

He'd met the grumpy Brit back in middle school and he'd become something of a big brother figure. They'd spent a lot of time around each other, to the point where they'd barely hung around anyone else. Now, though, they weren't getting along too well.

Hey, it was bound to happen eventually! The guy could be really overbearing sometimes! Not to mention, the two of them had absolutely nothing in common. Clothing? Nope. Music? Nope. Food? Nope. Hobbies? Nope.

He'd decided that it was time to break free and get new friends and he'd told him as much over the summer. Arthur, however, hadn't taken it too well. He'd yelled and sworn and cried. It had been rather pitiful to watch.

Yeah, back to his original point. No friends he had at this school were regulars.

... Seriously, why had his parents insisted on sending him here? He'd have been happy to attend a regular American school.

On the other hand, there were certainly many interesting cultures here, at this 'melting pot' of a school! As a born and bred American, he was naturally the one most at home amongst the students, since most of them had come from far-off countries. Some of them even spoke with funny accents!

"Alright, class..." the teacher said, "find a partner."

Alfred suddenly snapped to attention. "Huh?"

Glancing around, he could see the other students shifting around the room and sitting at different desks.

Well. Dang. He hadn't even been paying attention.

Standing up, he eagerly scanned the classroom for a possible work partner. His eyes landed on one with cropped black hair who was looking strangely unsure of himself. He'd forgotten what the guy's name was, but that didn't matter right now. The important thing was that he looked partnerless. Grinning, he waltzed over.

* * *

Kiku sighed. From the description the teacher was giving, he could already tell that it would be a partnered assignment. He wasn't particularly fond of those - especially since he wasn't the most social creature - but it couldn't be helped, he supposed.

It was days like this that he would miss his homeland, Japan. That was where all his friends had been, but his parents had decided to move to America for business reasons. Again, it couldn't be helped.

He hadn't made many friends in America. Well, there was Yao, his big brother figure, but the Chinese could be a tad suffocating at times. It would be nice to break out and find some new, younger friends.

The other issue was the friend that Yao had already made a few years prior. Some Russian guy called Ivan. When Kiku had met him, not only had he been greeted with some very bad vibes, but he was sure that the guy had glared at him for a moment.

Spending time with him and his... interesting sister at lunch and recess had convinced him to steer clear of the group altogether.

As for his academic prowess, he was... adequate, he'd say. Not quite to the standard his father would like, but he was trying his best. Hence why he'd been sent here, to the most prestigious school in the area. To improve his grades to the standard expected of him.

At least he could wear a uniform here, unlike the wear-anything-you-want policy of middle school. It was oddly reminiscent of his homeland.

"Alright, class..." the teacher said, "find a partner."

The classroom rung with the sound of scraping chairs and hurried footsteps. It hadn't escaped his notice that most of the students had thrown each other looks before the teacher had given the order. The kind of look that asks, 'Do you want to pair up?'

He felt uncomfortable. He barely interacted with anyone in this class. How the heck was he going to find a partner?

... Unless he simply worked alone. It wasn't as if he wasn't used to doing such a thing.

Suddenly, without warning, a pair of hands slammed on his desk. He jumped in shock. Wide-eyed, he looked up into the face of a blonde student, who was grinning down at him.

Wait, wasn't this the same student who'd shown up late for class? And had been awfully casual with the teacher?

"Hey, dude!" the student said rather loudly. "You got a partner already?"

"Uh... n-no..." he replied.

"Sweet! Wanna be partners, then?"

Partners? "Uh..." Well, it wasn't like he had any better options, he supposed. At least, not right now. "H-Hai. Sure."

"Awesome, dude!" Grabbing the nearest chair, the student pulled it over and immediately sat down on it. A few moments later, he leaned on the table. "Alfred F. Jones!"

Kiku stared at him, confused.

"... That's _me_! Alfred F. Jones!"

Suddenly, he understood. "O-Oh!" He bowed his head. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Jones."

When he lifted his head, he saw a confused expression on Alfred's face. "'Mr. Jones'?" He scrunched his features in distaste. "Dude, you make me sound so old!"

"Uhhh..." Why did he always have this problem with Westerners? It felt so wrong to refer to them by their given name! "G-Gomenasai."

Alfred looked curious. "Hmm? What language is that?"

"Japanese."

Alfred grinned. "Aw, cool! I've never met a Japanese person before! So, what's your name?"

"Kiku Honda."

Back in Japan, he'd always been taught to introduce himself by surname first. When his family had moved to America, he'd had to learn to do it the other way around. Having been here a few years, though, he'd gotten used to it.

Alfred blinked. "Kiku, huh?" He laughed. "Awfully cute for a guy, ain't it?"

Kiku frowned slightly. His name most certainly was not cute. He'd been named after the chrysanthemum, the national flower of Japan.

"Well, either way, nice to meet you, dude!"

It was at this moment that the teacher passed by, laying an A3-sized piece of paper on the desk before moving on.

Alfred watched the teacher for a few moments. Eventually, he leaned over, edging into Kiku's personal space. Oh, god, he hated it when Westerners did that.

"So, level with me, dude..." Alfred glanced at the paper. "What are we doing, exactly?"

Kiku stared at him. He hadn't been listening to the teacher's explanation at all, had he?

"We are making a poster..."

"A poster, huh?"

"Hai."

"About what?"

Kiku sighed. "About what makes a good essay."

Alfred leaned back in his chair, looking disgruntled. "Aww, man! That sounds boring!"

Kiku frowned at him. Not too harshly, of course. "It is not meant to be fun, Mr. Jones." He relaxed his glare, choosing to look down at the paper. "Now, I suggest we make burret points... and perhaps some form of sketch in se midduru? Sen we can write se burret points _around_ se sketch." He paused. "Or perhaps a diagram would be preferaburu." He looked up at Alfred. "What do _you_ sink?"

Alfred was staring at him. The gaze made him rather uncomfortable.

After a few moments, Alfred laughed. _Very_ loudly. " _Dude_!"

"U-Uh?"

"Your accent is _hilarious_!" He continued laughing.

The entire class was staring at them now. Kiku shrunk in his seat in embarrassment, his face burning like wildfire.

"Do all Japanese people talk like that, or is it just you?"

... This wasn't the first time someone had called him out on his strange English, but it was certainly the first time it had been done with such... insensitivity.

"M-Mr. Jones, prease..."

The laughing continued. "Oh! Dude, dude, I got it! Say 'election'!"

That one was the last straw. Sitting up in his seat, he glared at Alfred. "Mr. Jones!"

Alfred blinked at him. "Huh?"

Kiku huffed. He'd wanted to discuss the poster like mature adults, but clearly that wasn't going to happen. Instead, he pushed the paper along the table, until it was directly in-between them.

"You write on se right side and I wirru take se reft side."

Grabbing his pen, he turned away from the American.

"Huh? But dude-"

"No. We have work to do, Mr. Jones."

"Aww, come on, dude!"

"No."

* * *

Alfred was bored. Really bored. As he scribbled down yet another bullet point, he glanced in Kiku's direction. The guy hadn't so much as looked at him since he'd snapped at him earlier. Everyone else in class was chatting away and discussing their posters - as well as other things when they thought the teacher wasn't paying attention - and here _they_ were, sitting in silence.

He'd never been a fan of those stick-in-the-mud types.

"... Hey, Kiku," he said.

The Japanese turned to look at him. "Hai?" he replied.

"What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?"

Kiku looked confused. "N... Nani?"

Alfred grinned. "Frostbite!" He burst out laughing. "Oh, man... I read that one in a Christmas cracker once. It was hilarious!" He continued laughing.

As he observed Kiku, though, he noticed the same blank stare.

His laughter died down. "No good, huh? Okay, I got another one. How do you make an octopus laugh?" He waited for a response, but didn't get one. He pressed on anyway. "Give it ten tickles!" He burst out laughing. "Get it? Ten _-tacles_!"

Kiku continued to give him that blank stare.

"... Can we prease get back to se poster now?"

Alfred stared in disbelief. The guy hadn't even cracked a smile!

"Dude! Are you telling me you didn't find that the slightest bit funny?!"

"Hai. Now, if you prease..."

"But how can you not?! It was class A material!"

"Uh..."

Alfred sighed dramatically. "Some people just don't appreciate the finer things in life."

"... Mr. Jones..."

He pulled a face. "Ugh. Dude, you have _gotta_ stop calling me that! What am I? Thirty?!"

"But-"

"Call me Alfred! Or Al! Not Allie, though, 'cause that makes me sound girly."

"... I'd raser keep carring you Mr. Jones."

"Aww, come on, dude! Just call me by my first name, like a normal person!"

"... We sharru see."

* * *

Sometime later, it was recess. Alfred threw his baseball into the air, catching it as it fell back down. As he waited for his cousin to arrive, he pondered his class partner from earlier.

Kiku was weird, no doubt about it. Quiet. Stoic. Serious. Everything that Alfred wasn't. It made him very hard to interact with. Not to mention, the guy clearly didn't have a sense of humour! He was so dull, it was unbelievable.

The guy needed to cheer up. Seriously. After all, it couldn't be healthy to be such a stick-in-the-mud, right? He needed laughter in his life!

Suddenly, an idea occurred to him. He grinned to himself. Of course! If Kiku needed cheering up, then who better to do it than him? He _was_ a socialite, after all! If anyone could crack that stony exterior, than it was certainly him! He nodded to himself. Yeah, that was exactly what he was going to do!

He was momentarily distracted from his thoughts when he caught sight of a blonde bulky figure sitting on the grass some distance away. He squinted. Wasn't that the guy from his homeroom? The one that Feliciano was so afraid of? What was his name?

... Ludwig, that was it!

Huh. The guy appeared to be sitting alone right now. He had to wonder where the German's friends were. Not that it was any of his business, really. The guy was rather anti-social.

Heh. Yet another stick-in-the-mud.

Alfred halted. Wait. He grinned to himself. What if he tried killing two birds with one stone? What if he tried cheering up both stick-in-the-muds at the same time?

Well, not _literally_ at the same time, but as close as he could get to that.

Nodding to himself, he decided to celebrate his newfound brilliance. Twisting his body, he let the baseball fly high, into an arc that was terrible for baseball, but awesome for goofing around.

"Aw, yeah!" he cried out happily as he watched it travel quite far. In the distance, he saw it smack someone on the head. He laughed. "Oops." He cupped his hands around his mouth. " _Sorry, brah_!" He paused a moment, then huffed in boredom. "Man, I wonder where Marley is..."

"It's Matthew..." a voice suddenly said.

He jumped and spun to the side. Standing beside him was his cousin, already wearing his baseball mitt.

He grinned at him. "Oh, there you are, Milo! What took ya so long?"

"I've been here the whole time..."

"Enough yammering! Let's play some baseball!" He was about to pull out his baseball to pitch, but paused. He silently glanced off into the distance.

After a long pause, his cousin heaved a sigh. "I'll go get it..."


End file.
